we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
