i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize
