I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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