question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
my liver is dry heaving
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
