It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
