You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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