How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
