I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
