God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
