I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
