Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
