even my farts smell like vagina
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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