i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
