i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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