I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
