Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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