I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
