I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
