He asked me if I "almost moaned"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
