I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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