So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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