ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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