a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
