Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
