So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
