She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
