if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
