he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
