Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
