Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
