I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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