dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
