kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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