I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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