omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
