Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
