Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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