Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
