She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize