I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Panties = found
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
