Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
