Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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