This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
