so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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