my sisters under your porch take her home
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
