she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
