Yo dont text me then not text me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
