after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
