kristin has been a bad kristin
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
