STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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